Never take that crown off, Kristen Stewart.

It’s summer and half across the globe, everyone I know is melting like bananas in this heat. It’s not a great time to be alive, really, because of the horrible weather. On the other hand, though, it’s a GREAT time to alive because

KRISTEN STEWART IS ON THE FLIPPING COVER OF MARIE CLAIRE LOOKING BATSHIT SEXY AS FUCK.  Even the climate cannot be compared to this.

laying beautifully on my table. is this real life.

but really. thank you for the grand surprise, Marie Claire.

To be honest, I wasn’t even expecting to see Kristen’s pretty face on MC’s August issue. In fact, I have been vehemently waiting in anticipation of the promised spread of her in ELLE UK this upcoming September. (Ohai, Elle UK editors, if you’re reading this.) Then as if we were just expecting her on Elle UK’s cover — Marie Claire was like GAME ON — hence the birth of this gorgeous cover of epic proportions.

Let’s take it from the top of her article, shall we?

“I lit my universe on fire,” she admits with a sly smile, “And I watched it burn.”

This. This is the boldest shit she has ever said. It sounds so bad ass and defiant— but sometimes it’s the hardest thing to do — to be the one to pull off the plug and let your life detonate, in fact, it’s one of the scariest things anyone could ever do.  The universe can mean a thousand things — but in this context I assume it is the strength that Kristen has in letting go every irrelevant baggage —while embracing the rebel labels thrown her way in order to move onward and upward in the vicinity of greater things. It’s like…in order to reach places you’ve always yearned to be, you have to first free yourself from the shackles of worries and emotional crutches that have been weighing you down and keeping you from being free, you know? And that ladies and gentlemen, proves the likes of the smart woman she has always been. Kristen is the conductor to her own parade, marching to her own beat.

“Women are always saying they are sorry. We have that innate desire to please. It’s weird because that instinct is what makes us awesome and admirable. Women hold us all together. But it sucks that what makes us worth out weight is what gets in our way. Lately I’ve been doing less of the [assumes whiny cry voice] ‘I’m soooo sorry.’ And more of the [drops several octaves] ‘No. Fuck. Jesus.’”

Can I get a fist bump from Kristen? Because she continually proves to be the voice of reason and feminism. Seriously. I’ve seen so many instances in which women and young girls feel the need to please. The obligation to placate. The guilt to apologize. Fuck that. It’s about time we shut that clatter out. Let me share a quick story. My experience in fandoms has mostly been great — pleasant even, when all of us come together as a community and talk about things we love in common — but it’s tiny incidents like fangirls pitting against one another or thrashing others left and right that have become the less pretty parts of it. I have roamed my way through these platforms —it’s the same conjecture applied across school and work places— long enough to have wise up from a few things, and one of them is definitely NEVER, ever, apologize for being the odd duck. For expressing your opinions (given it is sane, obvs). For not conforming to the bulk of the party. If they drink beer and you drink champagne? Gulp it. If they jump off a cruise a la Titanic, do you jump after? HECK NO. [You could flip them off while they drown as your ship sailed. Just kidding, kids please don’t learn badass examples like this.] Sure, it’s easier to comply with a certain group of standards. But I asked myself. Is that what I’m after? Absolutely not because that would be false. That wouldn’t be me. Which is why the hardest part is growing up to be your own person — just as Kristen embodies it — and nothing gets more real and liberating than that.

“Kristen is more self-aware than most people you’ll meet, regardless of age. She’s in a profession where you are made to question yourself, women more than men. She’s always been very intuitive. We share a dismissal of pretentiousness. And we both take what we do very seriously.” – Jesse Eisenberg

God knows there are how many folks out there (that includes both men and women) assume that it’s okay to tear down others just to prove that they are the ones holding the green card that prescribes their superiority, or to be right. And in the process they are rude to people who disagrees with their idealism. Lord forbid I do. People whom I thought were my friends have cut me out for being different and they couldn’t accept that because it wasn’t up to their “ideals”. Gradually I realized, so what if your supposed pals couldn’t handle your most honest self? You’re better off without them. Good riddance, really. It baffles me when the notion of speaking your mind is equated as “lecturing” them on their feelings. (Yawn, can people come up with a more pathetic excuse? Come on.) Do you need to make other girls/women feel lesser of themselves? Are you dying for the satisfaction? Does it grant you a trophy of ‘I’m riding the highest horse’? If so, your life is one hell of a miserable trash, mate.  Honestly, y’all, there are a few things one could be sorry for in life— like flouncing a hot date; not attending your best friend’s funeral — but feeling sorry for being yourself is never one of them. 

So go ahead. Tell them no. No because I have my own beliefs and I’m sticking to it. No because I’m standing up for the things that I love. No because your unicorn is too rigid to be riding my rainbow like that. I can see through your hypocrisy. Also. I’m sorry you cannot see that I can see though your hypocrisy. So to the rest of you in this awesome part of the world? You do YOU.

I second this.

To Kristen? I tip my hat to her for being the one who is extremely protective of her female counterparts, stands up for them, and who is one of the fiercest and most loyal woman out there. She never concedes and compromises her own faith.  She never chooses the easiest way out.

“The public kind of burned me at the stake,” she says. “But that’s OK, I can take it. I’m not dead. So many people say, ‘Oh, it must have been so easy for you.’ You think because I’m an actor that I didn’t have a normal progression of self-hatred? I have amazing radar for a certain kind of bullshit”

Perhaps the most badass thing I have ever read from her. I mean, gosh, how many of us could put of with that? Not many but this Californian beatnik. Remember being a teenager? Remember high school? College? I try not to think of the ghosts of criticisms past but I wouldn’t have imagined myself surviving this far. Coming from a slightly chauvinistic family background, my parents are quite the perfectionists/hard critics. Of course I love them, but if I were to speak frankly, they could’ve had better ways to express themselves without reducing their child to self-doubt. Admittedly, I wasn’t good at dealing with the disparaging remarks especially young. Over the years I know it shaped parts of my self-esteem that made me felt bad about myself. The struggles went on and twisted into anxiety issues. (Whoa. Getting a little bit personal here. It’s weird finally voicing it out. SEE THIS IS WHY I NEED TO STOP SECOND GUESSING MYSELF BECAUSE I MIGHT REGRET THIS LATER BYE.)  Though thanks to the best and kindest grandma I have that no one’s grandma could rival with on this planet, she taught me to be strong – to give zero whits about the negative comments people said of me that I knew was wrong– because I would never be able to satisfy them. But why do I need to? As long as I’m taking care of myself and doing things for the right reasons, the discouraging noise in my brain could use the off switch. This is what I strive to do every day. Or at least I’m getting there.

But, like everyone, Kristen went through her own self-loathing phase. And you know what? That made me feel a little more accepting of myself. That right there is the reason why I became a fan – the quality she owns that attracted me since day one – is her ability to own up to what she says and do. Come hell or high water, this woman is prepared to take on any censure and criticisms you throw in her direction and knock them straight into the pits of hell. I’m not even kidding. She has dealt with a ton of harsh and unwarranted backlash throughout her life. But she’s letting go and moving on with her head held high. So [hey tabloids and haters?] take a leaf out of Kristen’s book if you haven’t already – LET IT GO.

The bigger person always wins. She’s got nothing to lose. Whether you care to admit or not, she has always been and will always be the bigger person. Hence why she will always win.

“At one point, you just let go and give yourself to your life. I have finally managed that and I get so much more out of life,” she says. “I’ve live hard for such a young person, and I’ve done that to myself – but I’ve come out the other end not hardened but strong. I have an ability to persevere that I didn’t have before. It’s like when you fall on your face so hard. And the next time, you’re like, Yeah, so? I’ve fallen on my face before.”

THIS SAYS MORE THAN ANY INTERVIEW COULD. EVER.

This is who Kristen Stewart is. It says it all. Being able to get back up from your failures or missteps and telling whole world SO? IT’S NO BIG DEAL, GET OVER YOURSELVES zero fucks given is pretty much the most gangsta thing anyone could ever do. This is what we all should aim to pursue. Kicking back at the odds when it makes you think failing is like dropping an atomic bomb. Plus the fact that Kristen always remained her true sense of self, and has never let the hard edges chip away at her sweetness — heaven’s above, I have so much respect for her and it is a never ending river of respect. She’s not just beautiful inside out but also the wisest and most intelligent.

Which is why I cannot even with how her wisdom blows my brains out. Her eloquence is literally too hot and too smart for you to handle. She’s wise beyond her years more than any human being. She seems 25 but has the soul of a Confucius. Her brain cells are too precious. It’s too much. Please. I am requesting future scientists to retain part of her EQ; freeze it, save it, download it, heck whatever method you can do, just keep it. Because that is one special unicorn right there. She is the miracle to humanity. Trust.

“My hair is was such a crutch. I could hide behind it. As soon as I didn’t have all that hair, I had to let my face hang out. Maybe to most people long hair is prettier,” she concedes. “But then what? Is your main goal in life to be desired? That is boring as fuck.“

And all I want to respond to that is this:

You have arrived, miss thang.

And then this:

Because Kristen Stewart has hit the exact note on letting go of the things that is keeping us from being us. She exhibits the courage to take plunge. She dares to be who she wants in a world where people are too afraid of change. One of the best things I love about her is her ability to inadvertently make me reflect on myself – how my fears or worries have been holding me back from taking chances and most certainly with how I used to hide behind my hair as well – but now I’m proud of myself because I’ve never felt more free in my life when I’d finally decided to leave my crutches behind. So thank you for the boost, Kristen.

“I need to be slapped down a few times to learn that lesson. But I wouldn’t trade it, to be honest,” she says, smiling.“I’m really proud that I am able to move forward and not fall into every mental crater. That’s a new thing for me. Age has made me smarter and calmer. And it’s fucking awesome.“

And it’s like the best thing a fan can hear her say, you know? You are far more successful, brilliant, womanly, fierce and sexier than most of the women are out there, Kristen Stewart. Never take that crown off. Own what you own and own the hell out of it. Because we all know you do. And we are all here for it.

Always. ❤

[A/N: Phew. Writing this post is like having a brain marathon. I know love is just a shout out to the oblivion but I will always keep the shoutouts for Kristen coming in. And if you’re my people…don’t hesitate to say hi to me on twitter here so we can flail together more on her future projects. And finally: shout out to all the badass captains out there going after their dreams.]

On The Coffee Stand: Beautiful Stranger by Christina Lauren

 

MOVE OVER BITCHES THIS BLOGGING UNICORN IS BACK.

Hi, remember me? The fangirl blogger hasn’t updated her blog since forever because she vanished from earth for months. The same blogger who deserves a good spanking punishment for going MIA in so long. If there ever was a nomination for World’s Most Sluggish Blogger, you can bet your life I would win that one. (Judging myself hard, I am not even going to lie.)

It sucks when you are buried six feet under stress, no thanks to university projects and assignments. In the last three months I’ve been so swamped with the workload that I was pretty much a zombie like Nicholas Hoult in Warm Bodies. Believe me, I wish I was kidding. University is no different from vampires, except they suck the life out of you.

But you know what doesn’t suck but ruins your life in the nicest possible way?

Beautiful Stranger

by Christina Lauren

*UNFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF*

 

Seriously. If you have NEVER read a Christina Lauren book in your entire life, not judging you or anything but oh my god. Oh my god obviously because you are missing out so much hotness living under that rock. If you’ve stalked my interests on Twitter, if you’re following me on Goodreads, or if you’ve talked to me about books, you will be no alien to the fact that I’m a huge fan of the dynamic writer duo Christina Lauren. These two amazing pals seriously create some kind of writing magic together, not that they paid me to say this or anything.

Remember how Will Sumner (one of my top three fictional BFs) ruined all my standards for men in Beautiful Player? Well, Max Stella too, is no stranger in that department.

There are not enough exclamation points to express how Beautiful Stranger has possessed me— I spent all day devouring it, along wherever I went: on the bus, in my bed, (almost) into the shower (though who am I kidding, I would totally start reading books in the shower if someone invented waterproof paperbacks); there was no way in hell to put this book down. It is THAT good.

So what is Beautiful Stranger all about?

Chicago-born finance genius Sara Dillon left her cheating ex and her old life behind to start afresh in New York City. When Sara and her best friends Chloe and Julia head to a dance club to celebrate, one girls night out— her comet collides world with the beautiful British stranger, Max Stella. The two share some serious spark and after the wildest night of her life — some bar flirtation, sexy dancing and one-time hook up with gorgeous Max— things turn out more than just a night’s fun.

Max Stella is known for a Page Six and a socialite lady-killer with his bad boy British charm. He has never fallen in love until Sara detonates his life into a beautiful mess, along with the photos that she lets him take of her, that he realizes he’s found someone he wants to keep around. Sara is completely comfortable with the prospect of hooking up with Max in public places where everything is exhilarating, yet her walls are guarded when it comes to opening up her heart to someone after the bad break up with her previous douche of a boyfriend.

This book is basically what dreams and illegal things are made of: THE SEX IS INSANELY HOT.

Yes, you heard me. American girl meets British boy in New York City. American girl has the hottest encounter with British boy in New York City.

British boy convinces American girl to go out with a round of finger fucking in a restaurant under the table while the waiter stands three feet away and American girl accepts proposition and they have a string of ridiculously hot public sex together. Getting it on while throwing away the risk of being heard through a thin layer of screen? No problem. Boning in a warehouse full of mirrors? Definitely. Library sex amidst of reading smut? Right up the alley.

I cannot even begin to tell you how much I’d blushed my way through between the pages that I had to muffle my screams into my pillows.

[literally me from page one til the end]

Two words: Max Stella. Right from the start, Max has won me over.  Even with his playboy exterior, he is actually a loyal chap at heart. He’s nice to everyone, always there for his mates and never comes off like a prick. Also. He doesn’t half ass, he doesn’t take shit, and he is his own person. (Will Sumner has got some serious competition. But really— will I ever get over Christina Lauren’s fictional men? Nope. Do I want to? The answer is NEVER.) Max Stella is the kind of man who you’d want to do wicked things with your mouth when he dirty talks, and love the crap out of him when he does the sweetest of things. He is unabashed in the things he says and he totally owns it and it doesn’t get any more amazing than that.

“You mean did I fuck you senseless and admit that you basically own me? Yes.”

“But I didn’t think I’d ever wanted her more than in that moment

when I was witnessing her put herself back together.

I was falling in love with her.

And I was royally fucked.”

-Max

What’s that sound? It’s the sound of me throwing my underwear across the room. Someone needs to advice Christina Lauren that their books should come with oxygen tanks because lord my lungs are failing me. I mean. If people can get pregnant from hot fictional British men, I would have a bucket load of Max’s babies by now. He says the sweetest and perfect and eloquent words ever.

Also. Props to Christina Lauren for writing such female leads that are always strong, successful and determined. Which Sara Dillon embodies. She’s not your damsel in a distress that needs to be saved. She picks herself up. She has flaws and fuck things up like any other human being, but she fixes it and comes out strong on the other end. And for that? I am fist pumping all the fist pumps.

“The way you seem nervous makes me think you don’t know that I’m in love with you.”

I have lost all my ability to can with Max Stella. Like when he fights for Sara? He fights hard.

Seriously, can someone really love someone this much?  I want someone to feel things about me the way Max feels things about Sara. Universe take note.

But of course, not everything is roses and rainbows between them. When things progress much further between Max and Sara — Max’s racy photos of Sara are stolen, the tabloids has his picture photoshopped with another woman, resulting in a list of misunderstandings — their relationship train doubles over and hits the angst button.

“I tell you I love you, and I don’t even get a ‘thanks’ or ‘how lovely”

Max Stella? You of all men deserve all the love.

He is nothing but the incredibly sweetest boyfriend ever in the world but there are times when Sara needs a good jostle for messing things up with Max.

Will their relationship make it through?

You will have to read to find out.

AS IF you needed more reasons to read this book already:

1. Sara Dillon OWNS it. Including Max Stella’s balls, big time.

2. What makes me happy about reading his book aside from the MS romance is the friendships between the lead characters with the other leads from the Beautiful Bastard series. Did I mention Will Sumner’s cameo? He and Max shared a great moment somewhere across the fields of doing each other’s nails and talking about feelings. That girly stuff. But really, they cracked me up.

3. If you like British men.

4. British men who makes your panties wet while reading. I’m half serious.

5. British men who worships your body and loves taking photographs of you.

6. Lots and lots of hot public sex.

#truestory

7. Confession? I honestly find most of the smuts out there vanilla and recycled and boring. But with Christina Lauren? They make your spine shiver and heart twirl like it’s day one when you spot your first ever crush in first grade.

8. The flirty banter and intense chemistry from Max and Sara is all kinds of love and unicorns. Every moment between them is off the charts steamy. And when it comes to the sappy, angsty moments? These two are bound to provide you with the FEELS that you’ve been missing out your entire life.

9. Max + Stella = Easily tops one of my favourite fictional couples on this planet. For real. Those two adorable babies are made for each other on so many levels of perfect.

If you ticked all the above points,

My only complain about Beautiful Stranger? I DIDN’T WANT IT TO END. NOPE.

Though I can’t wait to wait to read their sequel — Beautiful Beloved — where Max and Sara finally become parents. RAHHHHHH. Stella babies. I can practically taste the tears and feels.

Other than that, I just want to send all my hugs and love to the smut sphere’s coolest writer babes @lolashoes and @seeCwrite. You girls keep doing what you’re doing because you’re doing one heck of an awesome job out of it.

mad love.

Anyone would like to share thoughts on Beautiful Stranger? If you’d like to flail with me all over it again, drop me a line on twitter @cappucinoclaire where you’ll find me mostly sipping my Starbucks latte with a book in hand. Now, excuse me while I go nurse this book hangover.

Til we read again,

C. xx

 

Beautiful Summer Read Playlist

Echosmith – Cool Kids

Echosmith – Tell Her You Love Her

Echosmith – Bright

A Letter to KStew because it’s that Unicorn’s Birthday <3

Dear Kristen,

Today is the beginning of the end for a lot of things on your 25th birthday. This is the day where you will bid your 24 year old self adieu…and step into a new chapter beckoning at a new stage of your life.

Birthdays are meant to be filled with nothing but all that makes you happy. A person can spend their day in the absence of expensive gifts and numerous congratulatory notes (usually out of obligatory rather than sincerity), but one can never be bereft of feeling loved. For that reason, I believe everyone deserves in getting spoiled with love on their birthdays. So do you. And if I can’t shout my love into the void a la Augustus Waters, sending you my best wishes in the form of words would be the most appropriate for this occasion.

In honor of this special day, I am writing you a fangirl word vomit account letter composing of what I think are your pinnacle moments from the past year. I believe being 24 was an INCREDIBLE ride for you, and is what I consider to be your best year, as far of now. It was also a great year to be a fan. Without further delay, I’m going to relive these moments in sequential order by month.

1. 

April

I can’t evennnnnnnnnnnnn.

Let’s start from Chanel Paris Dallas Campaign. Chanel was like the Grandpa Santa that just keeps giving. Dallas season, in my opinion, fitted your grungy, punk attitude to a T. As if this whole line was made for you. You brought us more amazing style, and my favorite thing about this was the Scottish-English flair emanating off of you. The intense kohl-lined eyes, the cornrow braids, and the toothpick-chewing slayed me. I may be a sucker for your androgynous looks. Now please stop killing me this way. Being the face of Chanel was BFD. And you made Chanel even more BFD. You pulled off this campaign like a total bad ass cowboy rocker chic. It was magical. 

2.

May

Then May came around and Met Gala happened. Honestly, the top part of that skirt, for a second, reminded me a little of the bullet skirt you wore for Teen Choice Awards circa 2009. This dress might not have been everyone’s favorite, but what does it matter? You have legs for days that those envious people would kill for. And when you stood, you stood tall. If you were to satisfy the people who have a problem (even though smart people like you and I know they are the ones that are The Problem) with the way you walk or the clothes you don, you would not be YOU, quintessential, uniquely Kristen Stewart, YOU. But you never conform. So, you go girl.

3.

May

Shortly not long after, you appeared at the premiere of Clouds of Sils Maria at the 67th Cannes Film Festival. You. Were. Fucking. Phenomenal. Even though Cannes 2012 will always be my favorite for so many reasons, but this one signified great beginnings. How you must have feel like a whirlwind, standing next to Juliette, hugging Olivier, blushing your way through the generous amount of accolades and applause being passed on to you, huh? Did you know that your genuine rapture over seeing your fans, when they told you you were their valentine, is what made me love you? It’s true. You will always be the Valentine in our hearts even when some of us break up with our boyfriends or when some of us LA-push them off a cliff for eternity. Excuse the drift.

_{“…it’s Stewart who really shines here. Valentine is probably her best role to date:}

_{she’s sharp and subtle, knowable and then suddenly distant, and a late, surprising twist is handled with a brilliant lightness of touch.”}

You, Kristen Stewart, truly shine.  You touch everyone’s lives simply by being yourself, and by the smallest of gestures that speaks the loudest of volumes. And because the whole world needs to experience the brilliance that is Kristen Stewart…keep the light on, girl.

4.

May

HOW CUTE WAS THAT??!!!!!!!

Fast forward to the time you directed a video for Sage + The Saints. But that was not entirely the point. Needless to say, I cannot wait to see the projects that will be directed by you, in ten or twenty years to come. I know you always have so much for people to look forward to, especially it comes to achieving greater heights. But. The more important moment here was that you held a lamb in your arms like a mom carrying her baby. The best part of you, as a person, outside of the directing and acting, is your love for people and animals. (Although I’m guessing you love animals more than you love people, yes?)  Our world would seriously be a better place if all of us share such compassion. I imagine all the animals would pick their heads up the minute you are within their ten feet radar and those cuties would rush towards you for a KStew hug. Because your solicitude and soft-heartedness is epidemic.

You + animals = I could be on this ship forevsies.

5.

May

“Since I was 10, I consecrate myself to cinema and suddenly I find myself here among the elite…

I mean, wow, I am not used to revel, but here I want to turn around and say ‘that’s it, fuck, I did it’.

Now I have to mention THR Cannes photoshoot. I bet you did 13437284752 interviews during that period, but let’s just say this: YOU DID IT. The haters better lawyer up now, because you are not owning it at 20%. You are OWNING IT at everything. 100%. Obviously.

Also. Earning millions of $$ but still wearing chucks with zero fucks given? YOU DID IT LIKE AN ABSOLUTE BOSS.

6.

June

The next time you resurfaced, you blatantly transformed into a crossover of White Pantsuit Goddess and Charlie Swan in Jenny Lewis’ Just One of The Guys music video. You were HYSTERICAL in the rad-dest way possible. (even if this isn’t a legit vocab in oxford’s dick, I WILL SAY THIS: YOU ARE THE RADDEST).

You were made to swoon girls (and guys) with your chiseled jaw and Caribbean eyes and mischievous smirk. You were made to wear pantsuits and break dance in full swagger like a celebrated cello virtuoso. You were meant to fuck strung guitars and look good while doing so. Your jaw was built to support the weight of the world. And when you bit your lower lip, millions of hearts were broken and mended, à la Jesus coming on an apocalypse. 

Dude. YOU OWNED THIS.

7.

July

Watching your presence at Paris Fashion Week, standing tall next to Uncle Karl, and making him your bitch never gets old. #WIN

8.

August

Then came August and you played adorable with Nic during Equals press conference. This was my favourite press con that you’ve done so far last year. Aside from the Ice Bucket Challenge which I’ve flailed over repeatedly here, you two make one heck of a team together. Also. For someone who isn’t a fan of the press, you sure handled every question and surface wonderfully and graciously. If I got in front of hundreds of crowds to speak…I would faint. But you didn’t. Because you’re cooler than me. I sincerely give you all the credit for doing all these things.

But my favorite part? You and Nic annoy the silly out of each other and it was so FUN to watch.  [No but really. When we say Nic is annoying, we both know it was said with adoration]

9.

August

ELLE US. I chose this photo because who else than you could have the most balls to lean exquisitely against the vegetables and fruits section of a supermarket looking like Aphrodite on fire? 

THE ANSWER COULD NOT BE MORE OBVIOUS.

10.

August

HOLY CRAP. LOOK AT THAT FACE. UNF’ing ALL THE UNFS. NO REGRETS.

You did a photoshoot with Juliette Binoche for Interview Mag and…goddamn the definition of hot has never looked so good.  This photo gave me vibes that it wasn’t supposed to. Like…there’s this whole sexually charged magnetic force between you and Juliette. 

LIKE WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE. (even though nothing really happened). (except two unicorns colliding worlds). IDEK. 

Both of you doing a photo shoot together is like Mars colliding with Venus. It’s insanely seductive. Like the dominant and the submissive. It’s probably just the way Juliette is gently holdling her fingers around your neck. Or it’s probably just the way your eye lids were half-hooded and emitting provocative vibes at the universe. The kind of gazes that we usually read in romance novels. You know, when the girl grinds her pogostick into oblivion while said pogo is muffling whale noises into his fists.  I digress. 

totally not related but.

i googled riding and this came up. i kid you not.

11.

September

You had a gorgeous spread in Vanity Fair France. I loved the shoot. I also love that it gave us this:

“I try to not let it have an affect on me and to preserve my real life. People think they know everything about me. But fuck, who knows the truth? No one.”

Because really, who knows the TRUTH? Unless they are you, which will never happen in a million years, they will never know the nearest and dearest things about you.

12.

September

  

Obssesion Magazine Cannes. This moment will forever be compiled in the books as Kristen Stewart stood next to door 501 and never looked more beautiful emerging out of a room. ‘NUFF said.

Then came October. October was basically an epic proportions full of mind-blowing moments. I mean, who can ever forget how I blacked out only like 50 times over you and Jimmy Fallon playing ring around the nosy featuring the only skinny dildo I refuse to hate right now?

But I shall not discuss that again. Instead, we should fawn over this:

13.

October

peasants do not screw over the Stew she screws them over.

All of Camp X Ray promo was just A plus to the mother effing max. [case in point: I still haven’t got over Blondie and Ali’s story till this day. #TeamBlondie4evah] You nailed the promo like a bombshell. You armored up and knocked them out of the park. Your body-con dress and louboutins kicked ass. Your movie kicked ass. Your interviews with Pete kicked ass. (side note: I LOVE Pete a whole fucking lot. I LOVE him most when he imitated you and Peyman having a convo. He kicked ass, too.) The fact that you dared to be different in Hollywood and because you were the ONLY female to kick ass in this military based movie made with 90 % men, my friend, #YOU WON AT LIFE.

Camp X Ray promo was also amazing for very different reasons. So I’m just going to leave this here:

 sometimes i just want to stick photos like this on walls just so I could tell people to bow down when they are in the presence of you.

14.

October

 

NYFF premiere of Clouds of Sils Maria was like a breeze after. You glowed. You showed up with the biggest smile on your face. You were just you. Your beauty was just as earnest and humble and stunning as your personality. What’s not to love? 

15.

October

October continued to deliver us amazing things like Byrdie Photo shoot. You looked badass. Fierce. Tough. Beautiful. You not only reaffirmed the statement “damn it feels rad to be myself”, you proved to the rest of the world that beauty that comes from within the walls of confidence is what makes you tougher.

Inner beauty is simply by being yourself. That is all.

16.

October

Who could forget 17th Annual Hollywood Film Awards? You and Juliette are another favorite of mine. You announced Julianne’s award. It must be an honor to announce someone’s name whom you personally look up to very much. I would have wetted myself if only I had a weak bladder but you and Julianne gave this speech that made my heart squeeze here:

K: “Spending five minutes in her presence is a gift for anyone who considers him or herself an actor. My on screen Mom, my mentor, & my friend Julianne Moore.”

J: “She’s the same special and wonderful person she was when she was 12 years old.”

heart squeeze x10000

I cannot stand the sweetness from both speeches. The fact that you were the one CHOSEN to present the award to Julianne, and not only did she received it- but she had more kind words in return for you- that goes to show the kind of girl that you are. This was just one of the prettiest full-circle moments we can never forget.

I loved you in October. 

17.

November

Uhm. Hai, Julianne. Your eyes got the hearts for K.

Still Alice AFI Festival. Julianne Moore looking at you with hearts in her eyes? Need I say more? Perfect moment was perfect. 

18.

November

The video of the twilight contest for short films. You were nothing short of amazing. Just…thank you for being one of the voices. Thank you for being the voice that pays homage to women in the business. Thank you for being the voice that empowers women to a takes stand and tell their stories. Thank you for being the voice that nudged women on to pave their ways. And most of all, thank YOU for sharing YOUR story with us. 

Seriously. Thank you infinitely. 

19.

December

i just love you a lot like whoa.

Your take in the 9 kisses video was like marshmallows on top of hot chocolate on a Winter morning. Your fangirl mode was dead on. I wish I had the guts to do the same if I ever get to meet my favorite peeps aka you. I wouldn’t mind the pouncing part. Only if you allow. Also, kiss on lips would not be necessary with me. Just a peck on the cheek and I think I would be on my way to heaven.

20.

January

like an absolute boss.

Excusez moi. Haters to your left.

You owned those shades. You owned Chanel. You owned Uncle Karl. You are BFD. That is all I am saying. 

21.

February

THAT MOMENT WAS BOMB.

By far my proudest of moment of the year. Because when you stood up there, you stood up against the world. For me that night showed how real you were. That you were human. That you have nerves. That you were authentic. That you could pull off your speech despite being nervous and giddy in the kindest way. That amongst all the tumult that is your life, you were and have always been the grounded girl from day one. 

It’s not easy to get an indie movie made. But you made Lydia shine. Thus I have a deeper admiration towards your passion and determination.

You never lost sight of your work, and you are still your own person and you have been consistent in what you say versus the things you do. 

YOU own it, unicorn.

To see your smile, your disbelief to ecstatic reaction, how the crowd cheered for you, how your abilities were appreciated, thousands of people sharing the same joy for you- that was pure bliss. Because you paved your way and worked all your way up- that’s why I, along many others, are still here. Always. 

Revel all of it in, ma belle. Not because of any other reason, but because you deserve to revel the shit out of your success for once. And you had every right in the world to do so. So, BRAVO. YOU HAVE ARRIVED.

You made the French film industry your bitch.

22.

February

The Interview issue was easily one of my favorite interview/photoshoots ever.  You and Patti Smith rock. 

You are in a really good place right now. You are happy with the films that you are working on and you are in a great spot of your career. I could not be happier for you.

23.

February

Another reason to love February was when you appeared at the Pre-Oscar party, taking photos with those adorable little kids. (no but seriously HOW CUTE WAS THAT?!!?) They were just kids and they love you for who you are. That goes to show how much you mean to us as much as we do to you.

MY FEELS HAVE CURLED INTO FETAL POSITION THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

24.

March

Pulling this out from CR’s March Fashion Book just because you looked relaxed as shit laying there. I hope you would be relaxing as much with lots of liquor fun on your birthday. You deserve a good rest after all the amazing work you have done all year.

25.

March

You said you get to choose who you surround yourself with- and you didn’t want to be comfortable and content all the time. You told us that you want to meet people that shocks you and shows you aspects of yourself that you didn’t know you had. And I believe you will hold true to your word. Because you always do.

I cannot thank you enough for emphasizing how important it is to choose the company that we keep. It is often that we lose sight of our roots, in the process of fitting ourselves into the mold that others have crafted, just so we could feel like we have earned the acceptance that we actually never needed. I wasn’t the same girl back then a year ago. Since then, I have grown a lot. I gained perspective in a lot of things. One year ago, I was the girl who hovered too much over peripheral relationships. Even I disapprove the old me, who initially let myself be surrounded in a toxic company of people who had the tendency to bring down other people, by making them feel less of themselves, and also people who were into superficiality. And when I shut that noise out? All was right in the world. Stepping out from that environment has eventually made me realize who and what truly matters in the end. 

So…a million thank yous to you, Kristen Stewart. Thank you for being the example in showing us that we don’t always have to live up to the different expectations of our lives. That all the expectations we will ever need to live up to is our own selves. That is it more than okay to find groups of people who own different limits than us. Thank you for giving me the courage to push myself constantly in everything that I do. And most of all, thank you for making me reflect on myself- because that’s the best thing life could bring.

You do you, miss thang. You keep on being your inexplicably down to earth, wonderful, kind-hearted self. You will never have to change because you are true to yourself and that is the best it can get. You keep trudging on that road like a true hero of your own. And I will be here to root you on, as long as you are marching to your own beat.

 

Because you, Kristen Stewart, have always been the embodiment of everything you own.

The rest never mattered but you. Only YOU.

My wish for you this year?

Health. Happiness.

Lots of them.

That is all.

Happy Birthday, Kristen. Here’s to another awesome year.

With all the love and respect,

Claire. ❤

MWAH.

 

[C’s note: FINALLYYYYYYYYYYYY. I have made it through the list of 25 for K’s 25th. Pass over the vodka please.

ALSO. Hurrah for raising over $20k in honor of Kristen’s birthday for Alzheimer’s Association this year, you guys! Kristen’s fans are the best fans. Truly.

I also need to give the BIGGEST thanks to Irene for making the cutest Kristen birthday banners this year. I LOVE THEM.]

Drop Your Kilt It’s Outlander Final Countdown!

[Warning: Do not proceed if you are allergic to heavy photo posts or an extreme case of sap.]

IT’S TIME!

IT’S TIME!

IT’S TIIIIIIIMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

It’s also technically Saturday here, which means HOLY FREAKING HELL STRIP YOUR KILTS AND DANCE IN THE STREET AND REJOICE SSASSENACHS BECAUSE OUTLANDER HAS RETURNED!!!!!!!!!!

The main stream where I watch my online TV shows isn’t up yet, and boo Starz big time because:

IZ YOU SRSSSSSSSSSSSSSSLY KIDDING ME.

Apparently. It’s not horrible enough that they kept us waiting for a hundred and eighty months, they are being geographical bigots to those who live outside of the US territories. 

UHHHHHHHHHM, EXCUSEZ MOI. SAY WHAT? The last time I checked, I didn’t know I was a freaking Martian that came from outer space of Jovian planet in the extraterrestrial galaxies. Yeah right. Hell to the NO. You know how sometimes you feel irritated to the extent your eyes rolls to back of your head? When it comes to Starz, my eyes practically falls to the floor. Needless to say, I am bitch staring at Starz so hard right now. [read: No blowjobs for you.]

me judging you right now. cc: Starz

Anyway, since I won’t be watching The Reckoning yet probably until Sunday, I figured there is still plenty of room for one last final countdown as we wrap up this whole challenge. There is no other word than sounds more final than the word final. *SOBS* Where did the time go? It seems like yesterday it all started with this post and now, we are here. And it was an incredible experience. There is something about wonderfully kind people, from all over the world, taking time out of their lives to do something as a part of this MOABF community that links us to one another. It does. It makes me weepy now that we have reached the finale of this beautiful affair that gave me friendships and made me get to know new ones. It shows me how this experience is so much bigger than Sam or Cait or you or me. This little community is built upon beautiful things and people and everything good about the human connection, created out of love. And it truly proves to me that fangirling is inspiring when people come together and mingle with each other. Because we all find something we relate to. You all have truly blew my mind away. I was not expecting, under any circumstances, to receive such a warm response. That more than five people would read my ridiculous ramblings and inappropriate references. I thought maybe a few people would send me pictures, and those would be the people who felt obligated because they knew me. When I started getting emails and photos from people all over the world…I wept with joy.  Now, please sit back and enjoy a leisurely scroll through each picture with MOABF returning to the roots of Outlander. I’m going to let the girls’ words take it from here. Let us reminisce one last time, shall we?

Favorite Photos from Outlander 
Final Day Countdown

because Irene is awesome than your kilt.

1. Paige from AZ, US.

“this was one of my very first actual REAL edits i made of Jamie and Claire.

It was one of those things where you were done with it and your just like ‘How on earth did I do that?” Its one of my favorites.

And I love how both of the pics are kind of with the same background, but J + C have different expressions.

They are each giving off different emotions:

Claire looks like she’s at calm and peaceful and hopeful

whereas Jamie looks ready for anything that comes his way and fierce.

But they both balance each other out in an odd sort of way. “

2. Cindy from Tennessee.

” I just love his smile“

3. Stephanie, from Wisconsin. 

“It’s supposed to be kind of a sequential collage of what happens to Claire.

I wanted to focus on her perspective b/c the story is told in her voice

and it’s basically hers and Jamie’s tale of marriage, developing love, and the division of the heart (Frank)”

And finally, this is from me, because I love them more than words can ever say.

And because we have finally come full circle.

….no further explanation needed. ❤

All the love,

C.

[A/N: You guys. You guys made most of my days and nights. You make me puke rainbows. You made entire my Droughtlander months better. Your kind words and lovely cheering tugged at my heartstrings and moved me in the best ways where I would not have thought possible. On Monday I might post The Reckoning reaction post. Enjoy the new Outlander episode with a wine or two everybody. The best is yet to come. Thank you for participating and reading. Thank you if you have been with me every step of the way until the end. Love is all I have for you.]

Because we have come to an end, and it’s been an emotional ride for me, (and perhaps for a few of you):

SASSENACH’S LOVE PLAYLIST

Holding On and Letting Go by Ross Copperman

They’ll Never Know by Ross Copperman

Found You by Ross Copperman

Neverland by Ross Copperman

[Before Ed Sheeran, there was Ross Copperman.

And I am literally obsessed with all his songs right now, I kind of want to marry him.

They’re beautiful. Absolutely beautiful.]

Outlander Returns: 2 Days until The Kilt Drops!

Ok woah.

Are we REALLY into the TWO day countdown? I mean seriously.

I’m trying to type out all the garbled ramblings that are crossing my brainwires right now, as fast as I can, before they run away and play hide and seek on me.

i trained my fingers to be this fast, guys, obvs.

I have just one thing to say and then we will be on our merry ways. It’s times like these and when stills like THESE come out….

Can we talk about how beautiful this is with his forehead pressing into her & her fingers on his jawline WHAT IZ FEELS

And then this:

you horny little devils, you.

And this kills me.

SNIFFING Claire’s shoulder? Stop it. My panties are gone. Oh Jamie Fraser, how you woo me. Oh Sam Heughan, how I adore your long fingers and huge hands. Hands that were made to lift and carry weight. Fingers that were built to roam across skins and ghost over places that are inappropriate. This still may no be in motion yet but YOU’RE NOT PAYING ATTENTION TO ANYTHING

BUT HIS INHALING AND ONE OF THOSE HANDS CLOSING IN HER FINGERS. Someone help me deal because I have a Jamie Fraser problem

I’m going to expect a WHOLE lot with what they have been teasing us so far. Chances are his fingers would be roaming all over her down south, so he lets out whale noises and spoons her on bed. I mean, that only seems fair, right? I’ll chalk it up to Sam and Cait’s insane chemistry. 

So without further ado, let’s do this. 

FAVORITE PHOTOS FROM OUTLANDER
DAY 2 COUNTDOWN

So, our follower photo tonight comes from @primrosesandrues16 who much like the other girls, have an incredible passion about this show. Also, people who have a hard time limiting their favorite photo choices just the bare minimum are basically my FANGIRL PERSON. Because that’s the story of my life. Tell me to clean a book shelf? I might end up cleaning up the entire room.

except not really because I hate cleaning but you get the idea

Excuse my tangent. Now where was I? Oh yeah, back to the kilt-stripping.

Paige chose these photos because:

“I know we haven’t seen the whole ep yet (SQUEEEEE 1 MORE DAY!!!) But i just can NOT wait!! so much fire and passion between these two. I cant wait for it!!”

credit: marvelandwhimsy

THE SPANKENING IS UPON US

THREE WORDS:

UNRESOLVED. SEXUAL. TENSION.

that shall soon be resolved following up by the kinky.

I doubt once people watched Jamie’s spanking scene

they would still give a flop about fifty shades.

Come on.

Like…Christian

Next up, just to include some of my fave Sam/Cait pics:

WHAT…….IS………..LIFE.

Now allow me to gush— the fact that Sam is totally comfortable with showing PDA only with Cait and how she always claims territory on him? I am running out of rainbows to puke. Even my feelings are humping each other on top of other feelings. Like whenever she says something about him and then he grins that idiot grin? STOP. THAT.  That is where the fantasy of shipping becomes real awesome. Because for me, there was no Outlander or Jamie and Claire before Sam Heughan and Caitriona Balfe, and I thank baby Jesus for that because these two ridiculously looks perfect together.

 

Then I look at Cait and I’m like JFC she is one fine woman, and then the harsh realization that we will never know if they have ever hanky-panky before or after these public events and press junkets. We don’t have evidence on that, but it’s okay. I don’t need to know. Please just bone each other already you two.

Here’s another photo contribution which flown in from @FFpassion.

Irene chose these photos because:

‘They way they look into each others eyes… and I die…”

“this scene breaks my heart”

Awwww man.

These two seriously warms my heart with their love for each other.

Another follower that is @mram71 also shares her favorite moment with us.

Mel simply shared this photo because it was one of her favorite scenes:

I like the feeling here.

The way Jamie is glancing at Claire without her knowledge.

As if it’s one of those moments where it hits him, like,

“I want to wife her someday. I know I will.”

Like he just feel it in his bones.

NOTE: That is the look of a man when his bride walks down the aisle, people.

Sam’s smile is the best smile.

It’s all puppies and marshmallows and hot lattes.

#LOVE

I personally liked the Oulander edit that was contributed by @suchasassynach!

Stephanie chose this photo because:

“Both show development in their relationship and how Jamie is able to comfort

and be there for Claire, even when she feels alone. Shows the tendered and budding love between them.”

When a guy does that.

You know.

The cradles your head in his palms and presses his forehead against of yours gesture?

It does all kinds of unthinkable things to me.

I cannot wait till the relationship progresses further between them.

SO WHEN JAMIE AND CLAIRE SAYS I LOVE YOU I CAN DIE PEACEFULLY

Another follower who sent in today’s photo compilation was @CindyKcav124– girl, you made some really GREAT choices, I will say this.

Cindy chose these photos because:

“which does not kill you, makes you stronger. Learned that from transplants.

Anytime Jamie is hurt physically or emotionally, makes me cry. #SobWorthy“

holy freaking unghgghhhh

and because these images should be illegal, a couple more angles wouldn’t hurt, yes?

I have no qualms should Jamie use some of that bondage to tie me up with him

AND THIS SWEET JESUS

you created a really fine man, Jesus.

Pretty much.

Though I am weeping because of his rude abs and offensive chest muscles.

So darn rude.

I have 99% problems and 98% of them are always Sam’s buff muscles.

He keeps rendering me like a flailing llama having a stroke.

LAAAAST BUT NOT LEAST. Today’s photo choice also came from @teenagefairies !! I have gotten to know Tiff for a while now from another fandom outside of Outlander, and she is arguably one of the nicest people who is a part of a wicked crew of girls from Twitter. So here is one of Tiff’s picks! Again, she sent in several and I flove her for this.

Tiffany chose this photo because:

” this was my favorite Frasers scene before shit went down”

And then these two sexy motherfuckers here…. I CAN’T.

“I feel like God himself when I’m inside you”

“I dieeeee”

I couldn’t be more excited if it were real sex.

Also.

Jamie Fraser is what dreams are made of.

And because I love you all, this is my favorite moment for, like, ever:

Someone REALLY needs to give SHEUGHS an award for mastering the exotic art of nipple suction.

Everything about this is beautiful. This is a damned painting. This is like watching fire burn except the fire makes you want to hump a bed.

She’s holding onto him so tight. And he is ghosting his lips over her nipple like she’s made of cupcakes and stars. THIS IS LITERALLY THE PERFECT JAMIE/CLAIRE THAT CAME TO LIFE THANK YOU JAAYSUSS.

Alright friends.

 

Tomorrow is the LAST countdown post – basically there are only TWO more posts left.

The 1 day Countdown and the OMG OUTLANDER IS FINALLY BACK post.

See you then! ❤

[A/N: If you are reading this right now and you have not yet submitted your Outlander countdown picture(s)…well what the heck are you waiting for?!!! (Yes, YOU, person-who-has-never-commented-but-has-always-lurked-and-is-running-hot-and-cold-about-submitting, you!) 

Please submit ALL of your Drop Your Kilts It’s Outlander pictures by the end of your day (whenever that may be) before (or before Outlander show is on) Saturday, April 4^th

I have a lot of great submissions, but I would love more. All I want for Outlander’s return is your contribution. And Fraser sex. Help a sister out! Spread the word and love for me, if you like. I know you all are superb like that. Lastly, I just want to send a HUGE THANK YOU to all of you who have contributed so far. You guys are seriously one of the best fangirls anyone could ever have.]